Unplug the Christmas Machine
Reading and sermon preached by Rev. Carolyn Patierno
December 4, 2005

Remember Yule by Ogden Nash

I guess I am just an old fogey.
I guess I am headed for the last round-up, so come along little dogey.
I can remember when winter was wintery & summer was estival;
I can even remember when Christmas was family festival.
Yes. I can remember when Christmas was an occasion for fireside rejoicing and general goodwill.
And now it is just the day that it’s only X shopping days until.
I can remember when we knew Christmas was coming without being
reminded by the sponsor
and the announcer.
What, five times a week at 8:15 p.m., do the herald angels sing?
That a small deposit now will buy you an option on a genuine diamond ring.
What is the message we receive with Good King Wenceslaus?
That if we rush to the corner of Ninth & Main we can get that pink mink housecoat very inexpenceslaus.
I know what came upon the midnight clear to our backward parents, but what comes to us?
A choir imploring us to Come all ye faithful and steal a 1939 convertible at psychoneurotic prices from Grinning Gus.
Christmas is a sitting duck for sponsors, it’s so commercial,
And yet so noncontroversial.
Well, you reverent sponsors redolent of frankincense and myrrh, come
smear me with bear-grease & call me an un-American hellion,
This is my declaration of independence and rebellion.
This year I’m going to disconnect everything electrical in the house
and spend the Christmas season like Tiny Tim and Mr Pickwick;
You make me sickwick.

The poet dreams of a Christmas just like the ones he used to know. Except the poet was dreaming about 60 years ago. Sixty years ago, Ogden Nash was fed up with what Christmas had become. Fast forward twenty-five or so years and we find Charlie Brown, disgusted with the growing commercialism of the season. And just about twenty years after that in 1982, Jo Robinson & Jean Coppock Staeheli wrote Unplug the Christmas Machine. Said machine has been a long time in development, apparently since the mid-19th century. And here we are. 2005. I’m sure each of us could bend some poor listener’s ear with our disgust at and outrage for a holiday that has at its root the most humble and mysterious beginning.

And still, I am someone who unabashedly loves the Christmas season. It began in my childhood. When I was a child and occasionally had a nightmare or a hard time going to sleep, my mother would say to me, “Just think about Christmas.” for, there was nothing more sparkling and warm as that memory. Christmas Eve is still, and I venture to say will always be, my favorite night of the year.

So, there’s my bias. You’ll hear no “bah-hum bug” from this pulpit. But I am not naive. I know that the season can be a tough ride. It is emotionally loaded. All of the sadness-es that we carry through the year, seem to come to the fore the day after Thanksgiving. We grieve for those we have lost. We succumb to the depression that we’ve kept at bay. We realize just how much money we don’t have. We dream of a white Christmas just like the ones we used to know. Christmas just doesn’t seem the same – or as good – to Ogden Nash or to any of us.

It makes us sick-wick.

Well, actually, not me. And maybe not some of you, at least. Although, yesterday on December 3rd, I did tell my daughter, Lily Jun, that the Christmas music being piped in at Big Y was working my last nerve. In part, my frustration is in response to the season creeping out as early as October now. On the same trip to the grocery store, I felt that same last nerve being worked by the strawberry and asparagus displays right there in the mix with winter squash, apples, pomegranates and clementines. We too often operate out of time, in this culture - out of the natural rhythm of things. This careening into the holiday season is an attempt to rev us up prematurely. For many of us, we loose our way. “We forget the reason for the season.” as is said.

Jo Robinson & Jean Coppock Staeheli ask what we are looking for in Christmas. What is it you desire? What is your reason – an especially interesting question for a Unitarian Universalist, many of whom do not identify as Christians. What is your Christmas dream? After interviewing many people and asking these questions and others like them the writers concluded:

In general, people ask Christmas to do too many things for them. They want it to strengthen their family bonds, give their spirits a lift in the dark days of winter, stimulate their compassion and generosity, help them keep tabs on far-flung friends, confirm their deepest religious beliefs and show off their skills as hosts and hostesses … on & on. No one celebration can do it all.

No, that’s too much pressure. On ourselves and on the holiday. So, my message today is simple: keep it simple.

Linda Boucher told me that she led an Unplug the Christmas Machine workshop here at All Souls some years ago. I hope we can offer that workshop next fall. The approximately 50 people who are part of our small group ministries will be considering the matter when they gather in the next week or so. For you who have gathered here this morning, I’m going to walk you through a mini self-reflection. As our time together is brief, my focus will be narrow and I’ll consider gift giving and children.

I’ll begin with children. (An aside: did you know that Santa arrived by Amtrack here in New London yesterday?) There are many sound suggestions on keeping it simple for children and youth, too. But I’d like to share with you the four things children really want for Christmas, according to Robinson and Coppock-Staeheli’s conclusions:

• A relaxed and loving time with the family
• Realistic expectations about gifts
• An evenly paced holiday season
• Reliable family traditions

Honestly, do these four sound much different from what you would like for yourself out of the Christmas season?

Allow me to say a few things about the last two of these – an evenly paced holiday season and reliable family traditions.

There are so many wonderful opportunities to bring beauty and fun into your life and the lives of those you love. Additionally, there are as many opportunities to offer service to those in our communities who are less fortunate. How tempting to do it all. And yet, what a recipe for exhaustion. Pace your children, yes. But also pace yourselves.

As for traditions, we look to these for comfort. Traditions fill our hearts with memory. For children, traditions are particularly comforting. Sandy Geaman is someone who understands this. She and her loyal and wonderful volunteers offer to our children & grown ups alike the All Souls Craft Fair each year. My own daughter looks forward to this craft fair all year. It is now part of her Christmas tradition. Anyone who was there yesterday – and nearly 100 people came through our doors yesterday – took part in a lovely tradition.

The writers are quick to point out that keeping traditions is especially important for children undergoing major transitions as a result of a death in the family, divorce, remarriage or a move. Traditions offer these children, reassurance that they may count on some things remaining consistent despite dramatic changes that are inevitable.

Don’t we all long for the same reassurance?

As for gifts:

This is the crux of it all, right? I was interested to learn that in the early part of the 19th century, gifts played a minor role in the celebration of Christmas. Adults typically exchanged simple, usually homemade & token notions and children received just a few small presents. This simplicity allowed more time to spend with family and friends enjoying special foods and games.

As our economy is driven by Christmas sales, it is no wonder that “the 10 Hidden Gift-Giving Rules” resonate for so many. Here they are:

• Give a gift to everyone you expect to get one from.
• if someone gives you a gift unexpectedly, reciprocate that year. (Some people have prewrapped generic gifts set aside for just such an occasion.)
• When you add a name to your gift list, give that person a gift every year thereafter.
• the amount of money you spend on a gift determines how much you care about he recipient.
• gifts exchanged between adults should be roughly equal in value.
• the presents you give someone should be fairly consistent in value over the years.
• if you give a gift to a person in one category (for example a co-worker or neighbor), give a gift to everyone in that category, and these gifts should be similar in value.
• women should give gifts to their close women friends
• men should NOT give gifts to their close male friends – unless those gifts are alcoholic beverages.
• whenever the above rules cause you any difficulty, remedy the situation by buying more gifts

Let’s do a little exercise:

Four Gift Fantasies:
Which is most appealing to you?
1. you open the mail to discover that you have won $500 to spend on Christmas presents this year
2. you are given two weeks of absolutely free time to devote to making Christmas gifts.
3. Every member of your family is excited about exchanging simpler and less expensive gifts
4. everyone in the nation decides to eliminate gift giving from the celebration. There is no holiday advertising, no gift giving obligations. People celebrate Christmas by joining with family and friends, by feasting, and with family and community Christmas activities.

Judging by your reactions, what changes, if any, would you like to make in your gift giving?

My own extended family has struggled with the matter of gifts for several years now. It’s taken my siblings and I four Christmases to figure out how to exchange gifts in a way in which we are comfortable. We’ve tweaked and finally, this year, I believe that we’ve figured out a way to keep things simple; adhere to a sense of tradition; while holding up values we want to pass on to our children – nine of them among the three of us. This is all to say, if you want to make changes, it may take a bit of a while to get there. That’s okay.

Of gifts and children, the writers quoted the introduction a book written in the early part of the 20th century.

These seasons – advent, Christmas, epiphany, call out to us for silence and significance. They speak to us and to our children of becoming more like those who came to Jesus with only the gifts of their hearts, with only the thoughts of being present at a mystery, with only the desire to bow down in awe. [Why not dedicate ourselves] to the silence and awe and mystery of these seasons, and to family relationships given the power to grow in ritual, prayer, and togetherness. (The Gift of Time by Margaret Miller et al.)

Finally, let’s contemplate holiday celebrations here at All Souls. You noticed a particularly full calendar in your newsletter this month. Two events took place yesterday – the craft fair that I mentioned and then later in the day, there was caroling. I counted 38 people participating in our caroling excursion. Thirty eight voices strong. It was a glorious opportunity to keep it simple – singing in the night under a beautiful new moon while fulfilling our mission to create a welcoming and caring community within and beyond our walls. Each year we sing at the many caring institutions in our neighborhood – the Mohegan residence, senior housing, St. Francis House, Covenant Shelter, the Women’s Center, & SCAAD. As well, All Souls led the gathered community in song just prior to the city’s Christmas tree lighting. When the tree was illuminated in the cold night, I was filled with the beauty of the season – it’s meaning running through my heart. That long ago a child was born. A child whose message offered hope to those who lived on the margins – in the Covenant Shelters and Women Centers of his day. A child whose life modeled a commitment to justice, welcome, and care. And when I walked up State Street in the company of a couple dozen Souls, I was reminded of the communities that came together in his name – this one included. And although today this Unitarian Universalist congregation honors and is inspired by the lives of many religious figures, at Christmas, Jesus’ radical message of love is renewed. We want to be filled with the spirit …. At Christmas we want to reach down inside ourselves and come up with feelings that are more joyful, more loving, and more lasting than our everyday feelings.

At the core of most of our Christmas dreams is a wish for simplicity. To this end, Robinson & Coppock Staeheli offered the 'Christmas Pledge'. Here it is:

The Christmas Pledge:

• Believing in the true spirit of Christmas, I commit myself to:
• Remember those people who truly need my gifts
• Express my love in more direct ways than gifts
• Examine my holiday activities in the light of my deepest values
• Be a peacemaker within my circle of family and friends
• Rededicate myself to my spiritual growth

I look forward to seeing many of you at some – but not all – of the holiday offerings here at All Souls. These worship services and events were created to inspire and support a quiet and simplified season that keeps at its center those who truly need our gifts; a love directly expressed; family and friends, an opportunity to reflect on the birth of a child and our spiritual uplift.

We have much to share and even more to hold in the light. Unplug that Christmas machine!

Amen.

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